BT 329 & TalkTalk 329
5 career moves for Nia post ALDC
This week’s episode might as well have been called ‘everyone get’s it in the neck,’ as almost no one escaped the barrage of criticism that became the focal part of the episode. JoJo faced a firing squad of her peers before being rewarded with an ALDC membership (yes, but are you sure you still want to be there, JoJo?); Maddie’s performance was critiqued; and Nia’s effectively been consigned to the bench after failing to place. Add to that the fact that it all ended with Holly storming out and you have to wonder, is that going to be one more original making the walk out of the ALDC?
For the love of God, let’s hope not. But even so, you can’t help but think that Nia deserves it a little better than she’s been getting recently and there are more than a few other opportunities she could make work if she ever did leave the ALDC. Like, for instance, these five alternative career options I have envisioned for her…
1. Tiara model
It took her until 2014 to finally win her first crown, but Nia no longer has to buy her own tiaras! Still, a girl’s love of shiny crowns never dies and nor does the rush of having one placed on your head, while those around you coo in admiration of how sparkly and pretty you are. Tiara model is basically one step away from Disney Princess. In this job, Nia would essentially win all the tiaras, all the time. She’d never have to buy her own again…
2. Chess champion
On the flipside of that, Nia and all her family are effectively chess geniuses (disclaimer: this is going purely off the fact that Holly once mentioned they all play) and a career as an international chess champion must be a nice change from life at a dance studio where spelling tyrannosaurus is a challenge.
3. Diversity awareness campaigner
After being made to play pretty much every ‘ethnic’ role possible, Nia is more than prepped to become a diversity awareness campaigner. She could start by educating Abby on the politics of ‘La Queefa’, amiright, Holly?
4. Candy Apple
Sometimes I have this dream when Cathy emerges with a whole new team: a team made up entirely of ex ALDC dancers. Obviously, this wouldn’t end well for anyone, as Abby would likely go on to destroy everyone in the near vicinity. But in the brief moments before her face melted through sheer hatred, there would be a nugget of sweet, sweet victory.
5. Pop starlet
Finally, she could just make good on her time in LA and become the pop starlet we all know she can be. Obviously, this would be the most natural progression, especially as she’s already been touted as talented by industry types and familiarised herself with the recording studio. The girl’s got a set of lungs on her and without Abby to sabotage her every audition, she might even have a chance of success. Which, let’s face it, she really deserves.