That's it, enough. Time to put an end to the madness. For too long I and the rest of us have spent spring in a fearful sweat, working feverishly at the gym under vigilant watch by the tyrant known as “beach body.”
Well you know what? No more. I enjoy a reasonably active lifestyle and a reasonably healthy diet. This is enough for me. Instead of attempting to whittle myself down to a bikini-ready size and shape, I think it's time we all took a second, breathed in, and realized a fundamental Summer Truth: this season is about cute outfits, late nights with too much sangria, and being in water whenever possible. It is NOT about dredging up years of Kate Upton-related insecurity during vulnerable bathing suit moments. Summer outfits are some of the most fun you can have with fashion, and this season is no exception. I will not limit myself from exploring all that S/S 14 has to offer, sartorially, based on my own bunk ideas regarding who's allowed to wear a crop top. We all are. Crop your tops, y'all! It is in this spirit that I present to you: Clothing For a Chunky Summer, a word slideshow.
High Waisted Bikinis
Love bikinis but love burgers more? The high waisted bikini is both back with a vengeance and a foodie's best friend. Get one on your body and then go H.A.M. on the barbecue, worry-free.
Chunkies of the world, I get why baring your stomach seems scary and intimidating. But let me just tell you: the upper area of your stomach is the best area. As long as you wear a reasonable bottom that doesn't dig into your top half, literally anyone can pull off a bit of upper tummy reveal. Believe in yourself!
These work exceptionally well with the aforementioned crop tops, and really are a chunky gal's best friend. A nipped in waist with a loose, flowing silhouette, mid-length skirts are ladylike and flattering, but also let you sit cross-legged in the park without flashing your bits to the LARP-ers.
Chunky platform sandals
Looking for the perfect accessory to go with your chunky thighs? This season's 90s-inspired chunky platforms are just the thing. Put them on with any of the aforementioned articles and you are good to go to drinks, the beach, a market, just about anywhere that says “Instagram me and your shoes!”
Why let the tall'n'skinnies have all the fun? You have legs, you can get ‘em out too. A pair of shortie jolts are a summer classic, and it's no one's business but yours if you don't look like Blake Lively in them. Find a pair roomy enough so that you can sit down (important test when buying jorts) and then tan those stems like everyone else.
A Classic Summer Caftan
A caftan is a strong look that works for all body sizes and types. It is also ageless, timeless, and will never go out of fashion. Invest in one today.