Dance Moms has made art mirroring life into, well, a fine art. Case in point, this week's episode when the Seven Deadly Sins group dance provided an episode's worth of fodder for the moms, comparing and criticising Abby's own behaviour. But as any Dance Moms fan worth their salt will be able to tell you, Abby's worst behaviour goes way beyond that old list. According to the scripture of Dance Moms, these are Abby's deadliest sins.
Promoting a False Idol
Also to be filed under ‘Coveting Melissa's Child' and ‘Endless Favouritism Above All Others, Especially Nia.' There is no good to be had of a grown woman hero-worshipping a tiny child dancer. Unless you take into account Maddie's career, in which case there's endless good to be had of it, for Maddie, at least. Abby, on the other hand, didn't even get invited to Ellen, which can serve as a lesson to us all.
When Abby's not taking out 40 odd years of unrepressed anger and frustration on others, she's getting called out by a roomful of rage-filled mothers, which just sounds so un-fun. Usually, she can shout them down or chuck them out (occasionally calling the police for back up in extreme cases) but even Abby has been forced to apologise in recent series, which is both refreshing and unsettling.
Slovenliness in Public
If only Abby's dad had taught her the importance of wearing matching underwear in the face of oncoming buses as an appendage to the mother-daughter period talk, there would have been so many moments of public indecency we could have been spared from. Alas, we've seen Abby's Spanx and there is no chance they're part of a matching anything. Other memorable examples include the Australian curlers, the detachable weave and the pyjamas she will not change out of here in season six.
Raising a Hand in Anger
Throwing a chair counts.
There's nothing quite so cheering as hearing the dance teacher you've loved and watched command endless winning routines over the year, shaping and forming young dancers' minds, bodies and talent, say she can't actually be bothered to teach class this week and is only showing up because her lawyers have effectively told her she needs the cash. Get out of those pyjamas, Abby!
Oh Chloe, oh Paige, oh Brooke: you sweet little fallen angels, you. Alas, everyone is replaceable to Abby, even the fatted calf Maddie (a Biblical reference, guys) as Abby's comments this week showed—bottom of the pyramid? Sacrilege! Whether she is sabotaging Nia's career, denying Kalani a hug, or turning her back on her own dance studio, Abby proves nothing is sacred to Abby Lee Miller and this is her biggest sin of all.