Leave it to Abby Lee Miller to return after weeks of absence with nothing but a new ‘do in way of explanation. In true Abby Lee Miller style, it took her only two minutes to deliver a cutting one-liner that managed to reduce her life's work to nothing: “The money's worth it to the attorneys. Not to me.” Which just goes to show how empty, how quiet, how fundamentally lacking life at the ALDC has been without her.
We don't know how long we have her for (she's not dying, but who knows how long the attorneys are going to insist she makes bank), but for now, we're just so pleased Abby's come back, we've decided to compile some of our favourite quotes in her honour.
“I told her that her daughter looked like road kill.”
Only Abby Lee Miller could generate the storyline, ‘Mom tries to prove daughter isn't road kill' and have it be a serious thing. On another note, let's hope Hadley's lost the nickname ‘Road kill Hadley' by now. It was three seasons ago…
“I saw the people that beat you.”
This remains one of the most crushing sentences to ever come out of Abby's mouth.
“Get a padded bra.”
You'd be amazed at how applicable this advice is to a number of life situations.
“Maddie Ziegler is like a breath of fresh air, you're like the stuff we spray in the bathroom.”
There are so many ways you can take that simile that it's taking all we've got not to just run with it right now.
I don't wake up amazing. It takes me hours to get this way.
Abby Lee Miller: the everywoman.
“You pay your bills late!”
FYI, this is the only response to someone telling you they pay your bills.
“You're skinny, you're blonde and you're pretty. You're telling me no one at your school hates you? Wake up!”
She has a point. In fact, this might be the truest thing Abby's ever said. Also gives an insight into her relationship with Kelly when the two were growing up together, which makes us feel sad for Abby…
“She does not have any weapons. Just her mouth.”
So set the standard for every dance mom ever. Never weapons: just their mouths.
“I'm hot. I'm mean. You can't have me. You can't afford me.”
Said when shimmying, which makes us love Abby all the more. Feel free to copy and paste this to your Tinder profile immediately.
“It takes 15 years to make an overnight success!”
There's nothing logical about showbiz, people.
“Kids should cry when their arm is broken and it's hanging off or somebody died.”
We would last SECONDS at the ALDC.
“My dad even took me to the mother-daughter talk about having your period.”
Years of watching Dance Moms has done absolutely nothing to clarify this statement. But it still remains an absolute favourite of the Abby Lee Miller canon.
“Those legs are as straight as Elton John!”
Forever a favourite.