Judge Judy's 10 Best Comebacks

In her 20 years on air, Judge Judy has become associated with a number of amazing catchphrases. To celebrate new episodes of Judge Judy coming to Lifetime, here are our 10 favourite Judy-isms.

Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining!

Translation: If you are trying to get one over on me you will not succeed.

If you think you are going to fool Judy with the lame story you made up five minutes before you got to court – think on. Her ability to spot a lie is as impressive as her knack for looking exactly the same for 20 years.

They don't keep me here because I'm 5'10" and gorgeous.

Translation: My job performance is not based on my looks or height. I am in fact very short. The thing that keeps me in my job is my superior intelligence.

Beauty fades – dumb is forever.

Translation: You may be good-looking now, but that won't always be the case. The only thing that will last is your stupidity.

Don't rely on your looks to get by. It won't end well. In fact, it will usually end with you standing in front of Judy and trying to woo her with a hair flip or well-placed smile.

Get over it!

Translation: Get over it!

Said best as three separate sentences. "Get. Over. It." Don't come to Judy if you're going to be a cry baby. So what if someone broke something of sentimental value. As JJ says, if you want to cry about something "Go see Dr Phil."

I want you to take the word 'like' out of your vocabulary.

Translation: I do not approve of you peppering every sentence with the word 'like'.

10 million people ...

Translation: You are making a fool out of yourself in front of large number of viewers, and I'm loving every minute.

Judy loves to remind litigants just how many people watch her show. She hopes it will stop them from saying anything ridiculous – but it rarely does.


Translation: Your answer is reminiscent of a kind of lunch meat made from an amalgam of not very appetizing animal parts.

No single word conveys the ridiculousness of an answer than 'baloney'. 'Crap', 'tripe', 'guff' just don't seem to cut the mustard.

Ha ha ha

Translation: You are a fool – the court jester to my queen.

The judge is never laughing with you – only at you. She can either laugh or cry at your foolishness – so she chooses the former. Usually accompanied by a sideways glance at Officer Byrd.

Um is not an answer, sir

Translation: If you're going to speak to me, you better have an answer ready – 'um's and 'eh's will not be tolerated.

Case dismissed

Translation: "I am done with you."

Best said when she has already gotten up to leave.