We're all guilty of it. We all make outlandish statements claiming that we'd 'sell our soul for that promotion', that we'd 'sign our soul over to the devil for one night with Chris Evans', that we'd totally 'do eternity in hell for a slice of cake'. But is it really worth it?
Okay, it's safe to say that that piece of cake doesn't warrant eternal damnation and you could probably get that promotion if you just worked a little bit harder but that Chris Evans thing, I dunno… Of course I wouldn't actually sell my soul to have a roll in the hay with a celebrity no matter how chiseled he is. But sometimes, just sometimes, I do wish a Roman Castevet would come into my life to fix me up.
Just like Guy, I want to be a successful writer. I often say I would give anything to write a hit sitcom and become a show runner. But, seeing as I have a good job and that I am lucky enough to write for a living, would I really give up my eternity just to change genres? It's very easy for me to say 'No! Of course not!' but if offered, it would be tempting. Not only would I achieve my life-long goal but I would also be able to provide for my family for the rest of our lives and have a little bit of fame too. Then the dilemma sets in: if my success is truly down to the devil, is it really my success? I don't know about you but I am very determined to make it on my own. I am equally determined to hone my craft until it is something worthy of the aforementioned notoriety. So if it was given to me on a plate in exchange for, say, my first born, all the joy and security it would provide would be tainted with the knowledge that it wasn't actually mine and the looming question of: would I have ever achieved it on my own? Would never leave me. So, in this circumstance, no. Selling your soul isn't worth it.
Isn't Zoe Saldana beautiful? Don't you wish you were just as beautiful as her? Well, I do. Since I came into the world screaming, I have had weight issues and crippling low self-esteem. Now, at 30 (that number really doesn't help either) and planning a wedding, I often think I would do anything to be a size 8 with perfect skin, buoyant boobs and a bum that would rival Pippa Middleton's. Years of hard work and starving myself has never really had any of the desired results so, would I really turn to the devil for help in this area? It would be great to be able to eat whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted without worrying about gaining weight or the health implications (because, you now, that would be part of it, obviously) and it would be awesome to be able to go into any shop and buy any item and have it fit and suit you perfectly. However, is this shallow, narcissistic wish really worth a fiery eternity? Well, maybe actually. It's a sad fact but people who are more attractive have an edge in both the business and social world. People like being around attractive people. They also make assumptions of those who are overweight and/or not very easy on the eyes. So compromising your soul for the promise of not only good looks but the possibility of more friends, confidence and a better job does sound pretty sweet. So, yes. For other reasons than just the surface 'I want to be thin and pretty', this is a topic which would have to be under consideration.
Lastly, eternal life for me and my loved ones. It would be nice to live forever, right? Never worrying about disease, ageing or death and experiencing all the world has to offer at a decent pace. Wouldn't it be nice to have more time with that special someone? Wouldn't it be swell to travel the world and see literally everything? Wouldn't it be… boring? Yes, I would love to have a millennia of knowledge and have time to read all the books in the world but to live an eternity (which never is an eternity) only to be followed by another in the pits of hell sounds pretty awful actually. Not only that but life would lose its excitement. The thrill of knowing that you have a finite amount of time and that you have to make the most of it really can lead to great things and a lot of fun so why ruin it? I know that I had more guaranteed years on the planet, I would watch a lot more TV. Kinda a waste, huh?
Obviously, I want these things. Everyone wants an iteration of the above but when you actually weigh out the pros and cons, it's really quite simple. If you sell your soul to the devil, you will have all the success, looks and life that you want but none of it will mean anything and none of it will be real. So, in my humble opinion, I can't think of a single, selfish (because it has to be selfish) thing that would actually make me want to experience the fiery pits of hell fire. Actually, on second thoughts, that night with Chris Evans might change my mind...