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RHOBH

The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Starts Tuesday 2 October
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10 reasons you HAVE to watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

1. The houses. Good god the houses. It's like being inside an issue of Hello magazine, but Hello on steroids. Ten, twelve, thirteen bedroom houses are perfectly normal. Multi-millionaire Yolanda even has her own lemon tree grove, which she complains about because she doesn't know what she'll do with all of the lemons - giving a new meaning to the phrase ‘first world problems'. Kyle's one storey mansion is considered ‘cosy'. 

2. Paris Hilton's aunts are in it. Kyle and Kim Richards even look a bit like their niece Paris, if you squint a bit. Paris popped up in one episode from series three looking typically bemused. Kyle and Kim have a roller coaster relationship, but Kim's recent stint in rehab for a drink problem seems to have brought them closer together.

3. Lisa Vanderpump. As if her name wasn't good enough, Lisa's no nonsense attitude, big hair and acid tongued put downs make her one of the best people on the show. Her long suffering husband Ken gets told off every five minutes but besides that Lisa and Ken's marriage seems the most authentic and genuinely loving relationship in the whole of Beverly Hills. It always seems to be an appropriate time for champagne chez Van Der Pump. We await our invite

4. The fights. No matter where they are, be it a clothing store launch, in the back of a limo, at a civilised afternoon garden party or a faux Turkish spa, these women will have a row. And when they row, they really row - we're talking tears, thrown drinks, even law suits. If you're a housewife in Beverly Hills, chances are you will either be having a fight or will have already had a fight with one of these women. It's a wonder they can all still be in the same room. Oh that's right, they can't - recent reports claimed that the ladies are flat out refusing to appear in public together.
 

5. The parties. No Iceland prawn rings for the Beverly Hills crowd, oh no. There will be marquees, horses, swans, celebrities, even MERMAIDS at their soirees. You'll feel depressed about your ‘gatherings' in the downstairs room at the local pub forever more, even if they do let you plug your own iPod in. 
 

6. The clothes. There's no such thing as dressing down in Beverly Hills. A casual coffee date will be an excuse to wear that silver bandage dress you bought last week. Going on a hike? A full face of make up, Gucci trainers and Rolex watch it is. 
 

7. Giggy - the dog who looks like a teddy bear and spends 20 hours of the day in Lisa's husband Ken's arms and has an array of preppy jumpers and frilly shirts. Giggy has a better wardrobe and social life than we do. Fact. 

8. Brandi - if there's one woman who doesn't fit in with the rest of the Beverly Hills clan, it's Brandi Glanville. It's like Kat Slater turning up at Downton Abbey. She's mouthy, she drinks too much and she doesn't own an item of clothing which isn't a mini dress. Brandi  - whose husband Eddie Cibrian left her for singer Leann Rimes -pretty much always says the wrong thing, and it's almost always a swear word. We love her.
 

9. The plastic surgery. There has certainly been some very good work done around these parts - it's impossible to tell how old anyone actually is, or if that's even their real face. Luckily for Adrienne Maloof she's been married to her surgeon, Paul, for the last ten years (and it really shows). 
 

10. Mohammed Hadid. He's worth £200million and lives in the most exclusive house in Beverly Hills. Mohammed isn't a regular on the show but we wish he was. He's the one responsible for hiring the mermaids, proving that there is such a thing as having too much money.