The Real Housewives Of New Jersey

Tuesdays 9pm
Real Housewives of New Jersey

6 Best Housewife Quotes


I think every Wife has called someone "scum" at some point (though some prefer the synonymous "garbage"). Joe Gorga said it to his sister Teresa during season five, which caused the brawl of the century with Joe Gorga. I've never heard it on any of the other Housewife shows, meaning its probably 'a Jersey thing', which is another of their often-repeated phrases.


"One at a time!"
I'm no Danielle apologist, I think she belongs in the crazy club with New York's Kelly and Orange County's Tamra, but she did have a tough old time at the season two reunion. She faced off verbally with Teresa and Jacqueline, and was on the receiving end of Caroline's stank face for the entirety of the two part saga. It all seemed to be too much for her when she lashed out, suggesting that each women wait until it was their turn to verbally smack her.

"Let me tell you something ..."

Season one wasn't that lively, at least not until Caroline went up against Danielle. In the blink of an eye, she transformed from short, homely housewife to a flame-haired Tony Soprano. Her speech to Danielle about her family being "thick as thieves" is a stand-out moment in revealing Caroline as the mother hen who will peck you to death if you come near her chicks.


"Are you kidding me?"

Teresa asks this question so often that she should have it tattooed on her forehead (not that she has the space for it). Usually as a response to anyone daring to confront her on any of her comments or actions, it gives her a chance to dodge any blame that may come her way. In the vast majority of cases, the person she asks is definitely not kidding.

"Thank you Jesus."

If you are a religious person, you may wonder what Jesus is doing on any given day. Well, you can stop wondering because now we know that he spends his time doing nice things for Melissa Gorga. Well, that's if we believe her. It's nice to be thankful I guess, but maybe Jesus has better things to do than give you a recording studio, Melissa.

"Karma's a b****, and so is she."
If there's one thing we know about Dina, it's that she loves everything to be zen. Her laid-back attitude to life didn't gel with Danielle's insanity and the two had an altercation that led to Dina's first exit from the series. Not one to go quietly, Dina delivered a Buddhist smackdown to Danielle before retreating back to her lair with her hairless cats and soft furnishings.


"Old hag!"
Teresa and Caroline threw a lot of digs at each other, but most of Teresa's seemed to focus on either Caroline's age or her weight. Among other insults, she called Caroline a "hag" and pointed out her rolls of "blubber". Caroline is in her early fifties, so it's not like she's surfing Axa Sun Life for her free Parker pen. In typical Caroline fashion though, she took the insults in her stride, probably knowing that Teresa doesn't have the mental capacity to remark on anything other than someone's appearance.

I hope you enjoyed the list of RHONJ quotes. Look me up on Twitter (@rosssemple) and let me know what your own favourites are. As an extra gift, here is my favourite moment from the entire series. It isn't really a quote, and I myself have no words to describe it, aside from a piece of advice: stay the hell away from Teresa when she's mad. So here it is.

All GIFs provided by realitytvgifs.tumblr.com